Silent Treatment
Form: Short Screenplay
Approximate Length: 5-10 Minutes
Genre(s): Comedy
Characters:
Wife Translator - MC
Secretary
Bart - Boss
Wife
Assistant
MC (male) glances around, swaying from side to side. He stops for a moment to look in the glass case’s reflection to perhaps pull up their tie or fix their hair. A close up of their badge “Translator” is shown. Then, they put on a business smile (maybe we could make the cartoon shining teeth sound?) and knock on the door.
A secretary (female?) comes out to greet the man, speaking hurriedly (she is in typical woman’s work attire, perhaps with comically large heels that, ironically, only serve to accentuate her short height and a pink bead necklace)
Secretary: “Come in, come in.”
With one last look at himself in the door, the man steps inside the office. He has large strides, clearly confident.
The secretary looks both ways in the hallway before slowly closing the door (perhaps a dramatic creaking sound here?) shutting the viewer outside.
Cut to inside the office.
A man, clearly the boss, with slicked back hair, sits at the desk with furrowed brows, his chin resting on his knuckles as he examines the man before him.
The MC has a relaxed posture, his legs crossed and fiddling with a piece of paper.
The Boss opens their mouth, hesitating.
Boss: “I’m sorry to call you here, sir, but it was urgent.”
Boss takes a deep breath, glancing at the secretary. Understanding his cue, the secretary leaves the office, closing the door with a snap. The Boss turns back to the man.
Boss: “I need your help. My wife hasn’t spoken a word to me for days. I can’t take it anymore!”
The man puts the paper down on the desk, wincing audibly.
MC: “The silent treatment? What on earth did you do, Bart?”
Boss: “I don’t know she won’t tell me!”
MC: “Well, there’s your problem. Have a good day sir!”
MC tries to exit the room, Boss stops him.
Boss, pleading and looking desperate/frustrated: “Can you just see her, please?”
MC pretends to sigh, looking reluctant
MC: “I’ll see what I can do.”
Cuts to another location (somewhere that looks like an interrogation room, maybe? Or a principal’s office?)
Close up of a woman glaring. Her lips are tightly pursed, and only her face is visible. She is very clearly annoyed.
Boss, completely losing all his remaining dignity or composure under her reproachful gaze, sits with his head bowed and shoulders hunched.
MC sits down between the two.
Boss: “My love, please, tell me what’s wrong?”
The wife lifts an eyebrow.
MC nods along, scratching his chin.
MC, concentrating: “I see, I see.”
The wife looks away from her husband in irritation, her brows furrowed.
Boss, alert, looks towards the MC: “So, what’s the problem?”
MC: “Are you really playing dumb? Shouldn’t you already know?”
Boss: “I don’t! I really don’t!”
The wife rolls her eyes.
MC: “Yeah, right!”
Boss: “Is it the kids? I promise I’ll never leave you alone with them again!”
The wife’s eyes bulge with her anger.
MC sighs.
MC: “Are you hopeless? Clearly, this is about the pinball machine!”
Boss, confused: “The pinball machine?”
MC, yelling: “You love that thing more than her or the kids! You spend hours cleaning it every day! What ‘my love’! Don’t think she doesn’t know you call it ‘my baby’ in private!”
The wife snorts in agreement, arms crossed.
Boss, sweating in panic: “I promise, I’ll make it up to you! I’ll throw it away! It can’t compare to you at all!”
The wife clicks her tongue, eyes narrowing.
MC: “You thought that was it? You smack your lips when you eat! You slurp your coffee and soup! If I don’t divorce you, I swear, I’ll go to jail for battery one of these days!”
Boss: “My love, I’ll change! Give me another chance!”
The wife’s eyes widened, her resolve weakening. Then, she shakes her head.
MC gasps, his hands covering his mouth: “Every morning you ask her how she takes her coffee.”
MC shakes his head, closing his eyes in horror: “You’ve been married for seven years, Bart!”
Boss, completely defeated, slumps down in his seat, clutching his head.
MC takes one last, regretful look at him.
MC: “You’ll be hearing from our lawyer soon.”
MC and the wife walk out. When the door closes, their heartbroken expressions vanish in an instant.
An assistant waved over by MC delivers a coffee to the wife.
MC smirks: “Two cubes of sugar.”